Christ I have self-obsessed Narcissuses for friends. He waved at me frantically during the snacks break. Could I please sit next to him for the rest of the session? The papers were terribly boring and he didn't have anybody to pass chits to. I had no strong reason to say no. Besides, I didn't want him to think I was being cold or snobbish. I live for their approval.
He is right. The papers are all pictures of squandered potential. My mind wanders. The paper reader's accent. I wish I didn't notice accents as much as I do. Makes me feel narrow-minded and intolerant. I am not narrow-minded. I am very scared of being that. I don't want to stop dead in my tracks one day and realise in an epiphanic moment that I was being that.
I wish he were not so selfish. I like him. I wonder if he even realises that he's selfish. Certainly he's not selfish in any material sense. Quite generous on the contrary. Generous with his friendship too. But he gets bored with having to give. So once he's won a friend he would rather take them for granted. I wonder how he sleeps. Ill be too scared to lose friends to be like that. But then I'm not him.
So yes the Narcissus waved and I spent the post lunch session playing tic tac toe and reading wise-ass comments. Wish the Prof hadn't seen what went on behind her back.
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